When we were younger,
You always hated your smile
And even though I didn’t like mine either,
Your insecurities felt strange to me.
Fact: Boys aren’t supposed to dislike themselves.
That’s what we’re told, straight from the womb.
Girls; soft, quiet, skinny pretty.
Boys; manly, muscles, funny, pretty.
But only girls are allowed to hate themselves.
When we grew older,
I didn’t dislike myself.
I felt more of an indifference,
Even a possibly liking
Towards my body and appearance,
Whereas you felt the complete opposite about yours.
It still felt strange to me.
When I began to hate my thighs I complained to you,
And you told me you hate yours too.
And i couldn’t understand why you would,
And how you could,
Because you were a boy.
Why did it still feel strange to me?
When I found you clutching the toilet bowl at the age of seventeen,
And crying your eyes out at the sight of your reflections,
I started to realise that maybe it was more normal than I thought,
For boys to hate themselves,
But forcing themselves to push the hate back in,
Because it felt strange to them.
- c.b. (Insecurities)